Tag Archives: Angelina Jolie

Eating Tarantulas! Spider in a Can! DON’T DO IT!

NEW UPDATE ON THIS BLOG!

DO NOT BUY TARANTULAS IN A CAN! I APOLOGIZE TO THE READERS OF THIS BLOG BUT I DID NOT DO MY RESEARCH THOROUGHLY! I CAME ACROSS THIS UPON FURTHER READING STRAIGHT FROM AMAZON.COM AND STRONGLY DISCOURAGE YOU FROM PURCHASING THIS PRODUCT AS IT IS EXTREMELY INHUMANE TO THE SPIDERS AND DANGEROUS TO HUMANS!


They are organically raised which actually causes a rare problem. Due to the organic dehydration process, if a spider hasn’t fully dehydrated it will go into suspended slumber. The moisture in the air could bring the spider back to animation if left out of package too long. Good luck! 

Hez B. · January 25, 2017

So what kind of rubbish is this? Venomous spiders are dehydrated and can come back to life and kill you if you aren’t paying attention to the length of time between opening the can and cooking them! Plus as they are being produced in Cambodia, I would be highly skeptical of their laws regarding the way they treat animals and attention to the proper processing of this delicacy. Workers being paid 5 cents an hour are not likely to be that motivated to get the job done properly. Especially, when they know it’s being sent overseas to a bunch of rich Americans! I’m personally contacting the sellers of this product, Walmart, Amazon, and eBay and alerting them to this as well as various government food, health, and safety agencies!

ORIGINAL BLOG

Most of you have probably heard of that mysterious exotic world where the human consumption of tarantulas is quite prevalent.

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No this is not Narnia nor a place where the hobbits do roam. It is Cambodia and as a tourist, you may want to very carefully watch where you walk! Can you imagine being in such a hurry to get back to the tourist bus that you slam straight into this lady carrying a top-heavy bowl of tarantulas!

The woman curses at you and you curse right back, frantically pulling off a mess of crunchy black twigs and throwing one right in her face, barely missing her eyeball. After returning to the bus, tired and famished, your fellow travelers all stare in horror and hurriedly stack their bags on any vacant seats beside them. One passenger actually asked the driver if you can be removed from the bus. A young girl asks her mother if that is really Spiderman?

You are now pissed off, exhausted and seriously starving, so ravenous you could actually eat a … To your horror, your tarantula pieced costume actually smells kind of good! The boys have been deeply fried, that delicious aroma of your favorite chili sauce fills your nostrils!

You start thinking, what exactly is the difference between a chicken leg and a spider leg? Isn’t it all just cultural beliefs instilled in our minds from years of being surrounded by cows and instead of gigantic arachnids!

Image result for eating tarantulas
Angelina Jolie happily chows down on some crispy critter legs.
Her tortured daughter clearly does not want to follow suit but is given little choice. And I thought my days a child of having to clear my plate before leaving the table were bad!

Tarantulas apparently are kind of tasty! Their protein filled cuisine is no longer just a delicacy for wealthy celebrities and the third world’s answer to spam! You too can enjoy some tarantula in a can, right here in the good old United States at a surprisingly affordable price! Right from the comfort of your armchair, you can annoy your roommate with the loud crunching of spider joints and completely nauseate him as he hears that squish as you suck out that soft spongy middle. By the time you start to use the coarse wiry hairs as dental floss on your teeth, he is already calling a moving van!

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I just can’t imagine a better way than to conquer a severe phobia, than to eat it!
Image result for dehydrated zebra tarantula

From the manufacturer:

“High in protein, our Zebra Tarantulas are sourced from Cambodian Tarantula breeders as opposed to being taken from the wild. Given their lack of urticating (irritating) hairs, they’re nervous yet defensive arachnids, known to be very aggressive with one of the most potent venoms of all tarantulas as their only defense is fight or flight. It is though completely safe to eat the whole spider – the legs are great dipped into soy or sweet chili sauce!

*Supplied canned in a smoked sea salt brine
*Ready-to-eat following a rigorous two-hour cooking process
*High in protein and zinc, low in carbohydrates.
*Sourced from sustainable stocks and organically fed
*Flash frozen, boiled with Thai herb Pandan Leaf then pressure cooked
*Free from artificial colors, flavorings, and preservatives. No MSG.
*Ideal for use in Bush Tucker Challenge charity fundraising events
*Contents: One tarantula spider per can
*Net weight: 30 grams / 1.05 ounces
*Packaging: Sealed ring pull recyclable aluminum can
*Shipped: Boxed
*Crunchy Critters supports Fairtrade Practices

Nutrition per 100 grams: Protein 19.3% | Fat 2.9% | Saturates 1.1% | Carbohydrate 1.3% | Sugar 0.5% | Energy in calories 115 | Dietary Fibre 2.8% | Salt 0.51

https://amzn.to/2BFSvar
Please click either the link or picture to purchase from Amazon.com
  • Meat Maniac Salted Zebra Tarantula (Haplopelma Albostriatum)
  • 100% REAL Zebra Tarantula!!
  • COOKED & DEHYDRATED…..NOT FRIED!!
  • NO COLORS OR PRESERVATIVES
  • ** Please note: This tarantula is very delicate & we will do our best to ship them intact, but we cannot guarantee the tarantula will be completely intact. 

So far so good! You will receive 100% pure tarantula in a can with none of those disgusting fillers! It is super healthy because it is SALTED not FRIED with no harmful additives like spider venom or MSG! And if you are super lucky your tarantula in a can will arrive in one solid piece!

If you are just turned off by the gallon of salt in the Meat Mania brand. You are still in luck as Newport Jerky Company has a salt free version! You can savor the real taste of the spider without any salt to hinder the delicious meat.

Please click on either the link or the picture to purchase from Amazon.com
https://amzn.to/2Silus1

So now that you have bought your buddy in a can, what do you do with him?

COOL IDEAS ON HOW TO ENJOY YOUR PURCHASE! (THIS IS FOR HUMOR ONLY PLEASE DO NOT BUY THESE!)

  • Eat it! Eat it grossly in front of others and ruin their lunch!
  • Use in Bush Tucker Challenge charity fundraising events!
  • Give it as a gift to your unsuspecting cheating ex-girlfriend. Make sure to remove the label and replace it with your own handwritten one. Filled with love hearts and her name drawn beautifully in Calligraphy!
  • Take it as your plate to a Christmas dinner party. Place it quietly on the table while people are busy laughing and paying no attention!
  • Leave leftovers on the couch for your family to sit in!
  • Distribute legs over everybody’s plate at Thanksgiving. Act truly hurt and surprised at the combination of yells and screams! After all, you were just trying to help 😦
  • Use your girlfriend’s toothbrush to scrape all the hairs and goo off your teeth then leave it in the middle of the sink. After she screams bloody murder, remind her that you guys were making out before you even brushed your teeth and she wasn’t complaining then nor when you really went oral!
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DO NOT EAT THEM ALIVE – IT IS INHUMANE AND ILLEGAL!

Finally, remember eating tarantulas can be messy and hard on the clothing. Especially when you are dipping the legs in that chili sauce! Don’t forget your apron and bib during feast time! Click on the pictures or links to purchase from Amazon!

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