Category Archives: Commitment Phobia

Sociopaths and Rat Pellets!

Getting over the sociopath or narcissist in your life is hard enough.   Getting rid of them for absolute good can be a nightmare!  Yes, forgiveness is an essential part of healing to free us from the burdens of hate.   However, to “forgive”  simply means to let go of anger.  It does not mean to forget or ever think we have any obligation to ever put ourselves in the pathway of harm again.

images

The majority of these monsters will try and turn back up in your life at some point. Miraculously they have of course reformed themselves. They have not!.  They are simply low on resources and looking for ways to refill their honey jar.  And you are just part of their inventory.

Man With White Mascara And Bloody Shirt Holds Red Rose

They cannot humanize you any more than you should waste your time trying to humanize them!

Interacting with them again will go great for a VERY short period of time, However,  the moment they see that anything that threatens the control they believe to have regained over you, they will try to destroy it!  To see you happy and without the need of them will engulf them in an overwhelming rage. They will desperately try to disguise this fury for as long as possible under their new mask.

Run as fast as you can! This time the damage will escalate faster and more dangerously than before.  He is not nor ever will be your friend!

man.GIF

Anytime you engage yourself with this monster again, that freedom you worked so hard for will all have been for nothing!  You are not truly free. 

Your self-esteem no longer rests upon on how they treat you.  Their pathetic attempts to hurt you with the same tired insults are now plain boring!  It’s like wearing a bullet-proof jacket when somebody is shooting a BB gun full of rat pellets at you.  Kind of disgusting, kind of annoying but completely harmless unless you remove that jacket.

Be around normal people again!  Free yourself forever from the invisible cage of crazy making and gaslighting!   Only then will you start attracting those who genuinely have your best interests at heart.  Be aware that your new friends will flee for the hills if they discover that you allow him back around.  Nobody wants to sit and watch a friend self-destruct!

Finally, be very careful when you start dating again!  If you attracted a sociopath or narcissist in the first place, chances are extremely high you will unwittingly attract another!   Take some time to rediscover yourself and regain your self-esteem.   Get therapy if needed, there is absolutely nothing shameful in receiving support.  Don’t dwell on him, but remember the red flags and always go with your gut instinct before giving your heart to somebody else.  Your gut instinct is your tool for protection, built in and designed to never fail you!

socio-4

THEY ARE DANGEROUS, DANGEROUS MEN!

Advertisements

10 Men to End the Online Date With!

It happens a lot with online dating, but try to avoid these scenarios or get out as soon as you can.  It just going to get more awkward!

1.  The Date You Didn’t Want!

boy, handsome, hoodie

So you got a name and a number confused with your online dating prospects.  Think you are talking to Plan A but then Plan C knocks at the door.  He barely made it on the list and was the one right at the bottom!  You are even less attracted to him in person.  He seems like a nice person, but don’t waste your own or his time. Be straight with him if you really aren’t feeling it. It’s the hardest thing to say, but far less cruel than ghosting him later.

2. The Super Hot Guy Trying to Get Laid!

Okay so you open the door and this guy stands before you who is just drop dead gorgeous. You are like OMG!  Try to compose yourself as he not just devastatingly handsome, but he is charming too.   He doesn’t wait very long to make his move,  your brain, and common sense are in the off mode and it’s been so long you forgot!

adult, attractive, beard

After the deed is done, you hear the famous line “I’ll call ya”.  And he disappears off into the night never to be seen again! Too good to be true and you knew this was coming. Maybe you are okay with it, more power to you.  But, if you are not- JUST SAY NO!  He is after one thing and an easy test of his character is his reaction to when he sees he’s not going to get it. The date will end very soon, and you still won’t hear from him again. At least you won’t feel used!

3. The Creepy Texter!

Admit it, you were lazy and only barely checked out his profile. One cute profile picture along with a message that said”Hi beautiful, I would love to get know you” was enough for you to impulsively send him your number

He sounds really nice and then all of a sudden his texts turn weird.  He is all about conspiracy theory, survivalists, hiding in bushes, thinks he has a problem with werewolves in his trees.

black-and-white, cross, guy

The messages get more and more bizarre and at this point, you are freaked out. After actually reading his profile, you consider either changing states or countries!  READ PROFILES before you give out your phone number.  It’s way too easy for weirdos to track you down these days!

4. The Constant Texter!

So you did read his profile this time, saw pictures of him with his arm around his sister, and he seems so sweet and normal.  You text back and forth for a bit, he is very attentive and you are flattered!  You are getting tired and politely say good night. However, the incoming text ring keeps going off incessantly!

By the time you wake up in the morning, your phone is completely dead and when you turn it back on you have a myriad of essays texted to you that make “War and Peace” look like a short story!

As you start skimming through pages and pages of messages with way too many “lol’s, rows of emoticons, question marks as to why you are not replying, links to his facebook and twitter followed by links to every member of his family and friend’s facebooks and their twitters,  you should be seeing a red flag!

Man Wearing Maroon Blazer Leaning on Gray Concrete Wall While Using His Smartphone

And just when you think it’s safe to continue charging your phone – another text comes through saying “Are you awake?”.  DO NOT RESPOND AND CHANGE YOUR NUMBER!

5.  The Reminder of your Ex!

Okay, how weird right?  You are trying to get over your ex.  Out there, forcing yourself to date and then you happen to meet a guy online that kinda looks and sounds just like him. Just REMEMBER THAT EX did not work out so well and the universe can work in very strange ways!

Image result for blonde guy free stock image

You will often keep attracting that same kind of guy that broke your heart unless you change something within you.    Stay away from anybody who is going to trigger and remind you of any kind of pain from the past.  Even if he is a nice guy, you are going to be constantly pissed off at him because your brain is going to confuse some little thing he does, with some catastrophic painful incident thrown at you by ex-jerk off!

6. The Guy who Wants Photos of the Goods in Advance!

Does this guy ever get them?  And even classier when he sends you photos of his goods before you meet him.   Would he like it if some did that to his mother?

Portrait of a Man

7. The Guy Who Never Asks You any Questions about Yourself!

Ever had that experience?  The guy who is so literally elated and excited to talk about himself and every trophy he has won since the boy scouts!  Later, you recall the conversation and wonder – does this idiot even know my name? He is a narcissist. Beware!

topless man beside body of water

8. The Guy Who Never tells you Anything about Himself!

Ding! Cheating on his wife or girlfriend!  Patrolling the internet for women he can put on a show on for but will run as soon as he has to prove anything.  So much fun being on a date with somebody angrily glaring at their cell phone while constantly texting!  When he eventually excuses himself to take the call, grab all the free bread and quickly exit!

Image result for free stock photo cheating guy

9. The Guy who Gives you that Bad Feeling in your Stomach!

man wearing coat leaning on red wall

You have absolutely no idea why.  His manners are impeccable.  He is a perfect gentleman. He seems sweet and kind.  He even owns his own cat rescue organization!  But something about him is giving you the jitters.  What is it, does he remind you of a young handsome Ted Bundy?  Don’t even waste your time playing private investigator! You know what they say, always trust your gut instinct.  It truly is there for a reason!

10. The Guy that is Just Not Into You!

Ouch, the worst!  You’ve been texting this guy for weeks and in fact, you think you are better looking than he is!  Then you see a look of unmistakable disappointment in his face when he sees you.

man in gray crew-neck T-shirt

However, he is either a nice guy and will politely continue the date or suddenly get a text that his mom has been rushed to the hospital!  This is not something that is easy on self-esteem.  Screw him, who is expecting Cindy Crawford?  Even then, he would probably find some flaws in her!