How Ghosting Humiliates the Victim

So, Mr. Wonderful has ghosted you.


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You think it’s bad at this second?

It is time for a cautionary tale of how it can get so much WORSE if you don’t stop calling him NOW!

The Sound of Silence…

Your current crush has stood you up for a date, you have called repeatedly and he is not picking up. 

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After frantically calling both the hospital and jail, you are sadly disappointed to find he that he is neither.

You can’t ignore the gut feeling that you have been dumped!

He dropped his phone in the ocean again while surfing,  He has done that at least four times in the last two months. 

And of course, duh, Facebook Messenger! He takes his laptop EVERYWHERE…

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You discover with horror that he has changed his profile photo and you are no longer in it!

You are completely stumped. You have been seeing each other for months and everything was perfect.  You never had to text him first or initiate plans.  He couldn’t get enough of you, and now this unexplained deletion?

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You feel like you have just been kicked in the stomach. Assuming the worst you cry and text continuously for a good three hours. 

Eventually, you calm down and explain the hysterics to your disgruntled cat. He looks back at you with a bored expression and also decides to give you the Silent Treatment!

Determined to fix this situation you then text:

“Hey, babe.  So sorry for all the texts.  I thought we had plans tonight and I was completely confused.  I think maybe it was tomorrow. I know it was a major freak out and you hate that, oops!  Please call me as soon as you get this message. I  love you and miss you!”

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One more hour of silence passes.  Then the ever faithful Desperation Demon repossesses you faster than a scene from The Exorcist.

This time you are consumed with complete rage and humiliation.   Round two of the texts begins. The boxing bell rings, but unfortunately, you are the only one fighting in the ring!

“What kind of selfish uncaring cruel excuse for a human does something like this.  You’re are an A**hOLE !

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F*** you and whatever WHORE you are f***ing right NOW!”

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You really should put down that wine bottle at this point.  Your fingers are furiously typing pages and pages filled with anger, sadness, and pitiful pleas for a response. Why have you been ostracized?

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You then hysterically promise you will do anything you can to make things right.  You switch from a raging freak out to a brief moment of serenity,  followed by more tears that graduate to a loud wailing. 

You accept you have far surpassed flying over the cuckoo’s nest.   You have stopped, landed on it and chased all the other birds out!

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Still, you literally cannot stop. What do you have to lose at this point? You call his phone until it eventually turns off.  You have left long sobbing messages apologizing profusely on his voicemail (though you have no idea for what?). 

You wait at least 20 minutes and then try the “funny memories of the good times” angle. Then you send this!

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You have no idea why you sent that and wonder if it is humanly possible to have chosen a worse GIF! By the end of the night, you want to just die.

The world as you know it has ended. The fear of the unknown has you overwhelmed.  Your soul is devoid of all dignity.

Eventually, you blissfully pass out, the alcohol didn’t exactly help your nuclear meltdown but it did give you the gift of sleep.

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Waking up groggy, with a throbbing head and a blank mind you are feeling weird. Then you remember last night. “No, no, no” you repeat over and over.  “Just a bad dream.”

You know it wasn’t.

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Fumbling for your phone, you pray he replied thinking the whole thing was cute or funny.  No such luck.  You get to look at your incredibly embarrassing texts with not one response. The waterworks restart. You are in absolute horror at what you have done!

You decide no more texting if he just hears your voice sounding calm it might just make him remember the normal you again. 

You try to think of the perfect cute sentence to play off the downright creepiness you projected last night. Does one even exist at this point? It goes straight to voicemail of course, but you expected that. You take a deep breath preparing to speak.

Your cat can no longer take this horror show and buries her head hoping it will end...

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“I’m so sorry babe.  I drank way too much wine last night and I know I made a complete ass of myself.  I’m so embarrassed, I swear my cat thinks I’m a nutcase,  (awkward laugh).  I was just really worried that something had happened to you and I was missing you so badly.  I love you so much, please call me and let me know that you are okay at least.  I really do love you, so sorry bye.”

Putting down the phone you feel like a complete loser.  That was not cute or funny, you sounded more like an addict begging for their last hit!

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Now you have lost your will to do anything.  You decide to call in sick to work and crawl back under the covers. There is no recovering the situation. You close your eyes and fall asleep.

When you open your eyes you find yourself lying beside him in the grass staring up at a sea of clouds blocking the cerulean sky. You look over at him and smile and he smiles back at you. You both return to gazing at the overcast atmosphere.

Suddenly the clouds part, the sound of small airplanes are roaring as they race through the air frantically writing every text that you sent last night in the sky for the entire world to see…

The buzzing of plane engines are replaced by the phone ringing. You sit up in bed with a racing heart positive it is him. The caller ID shows ‘Unknown Number’. He must have blocked you and then forgotten to unblock you, you figure smiling.


You scream at the phone and hang it up disappointed. Your heart sinks as you look for any new texts. Again there is not one.

For the next couple of weeks, you try to tone it down.  Leaving a message every other day, just casually saying  “Hey there, just wanted to say hi and see how your week was going?” Your efforts are met with your favorite sound – SILENCE!

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You are tortured by the same thoughts. What happened? I played hard to get! He wasn’t even my type! He said he loved me! How can he suddenly just not care

The Art of Letting Go

The moral of the story. Let him go. They already have let you go. Leave them to enjoy the silent lonely world they have created.

Don’t ever give them the opportunity to say this to you.

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