Why You Should NOT Eat Canned TARANTULAS!

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Edible Dehydrated Zebra Tarantula


Straight from Amazon’s website!

Dehydrated venomous spiders coming back to life and killing those who aren’t paying attention between the length of time it takes to open the can and cook them!

These spiders are organically raised which actually causes a rare problem. Due to the organic dehydration process, if a spider hasn’t fully dehydrated it will go into suspended slumber.

The moisture in the air could bring the spider back to animation if left out of package too long. Good luck!” 

Hez B. · January 25, 2017

Sounds like a really bad horror film…

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These spiders are in fact being factory farmed in Cambodia and sold through Walmart and Amazon.

Maybe eating spiders canned by workers paid 5 cents an hour to feed a bunch of rich Americans is not the best idea!

Spiders are not the cutest or cuddliest of creatures but they are living beings trying to survive like the rest of us.

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The details of how they are treated when factory farmed is too horrible for me to go in to!

Giant pile of fried tarantulas in Cambodia.

It Tastes Just Like Chicken!

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As does a chicken...

Most of you have probably heard of that mysterious exotic world where the human consumption of tarantulas is quite prevalent.

No this is not Narnia nor a place where the hobbits do roam. It is Cambodia and as a tourist, you may want to very carefully watch where you walk!

Can you imagine being in such a hurry to get back to the tourist bus that you slam straight into this lady carrying a top-heavy bowl of tarantulas!

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The woman curses at you and you curse right back, frantically pulling off a mess of crunchy black twigs and throwing one right in her face, barely missing her eyeball.

After returning to the bus, tired and famished, your fellow travelers all stare in horror and hurriedly stack their bags on any vacant seats beside them.

One passenger actually asked the driver if you can be removed from the bus. A young girl asks her mother if that is really Spiderman?

You are now pissed off, exhausted and seriously starving. To your horror, your outfit pierced from Tarantula Lady’s inventory actually smells kind of good!

The eight legged boys have been deeply fried, that delicious aroma of your favorite chili sauce fills your nostrils!

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You start thinking, what exactly is the difference between a chicken leg and a spider leg anyway?

Isn’t it all just cultural beliefs instilled in our minds from years of being surrounded by cows instead of gigantic arachnids!

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Mommy dearest…

I mean if Angelina Jolie does it, shouldn’t we???

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I mean if this guy does it, shouldn’t we???

This protein filled cuisine is now no longer just a delicacy for wealthy celebrities and a third world answer to spam in a can.

Go grab yourself a can at Walmart for $25!

Just thing of all the cool things you could do!

Get rid of your roommate by freaking him out with the loud crunching of spider joints!

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You can completely nauseate him with a satisfied sound of squishing as you suck out that soft spongy middle. Don’t forget to loudly lick your fingers!

By the time you start to use the coarse wiry hairs as dental floss, he will already be calling a moving van!

You just probably won’t think it’s so funny when rent time rolls around!

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From the manufacturer:

“High in protein, our Zebra Tarantulas are sourced from Cambodian Tarantula breeders as opposed to being taken from the wild. Given their lack of urticating (irritating) hairs, they’re nervous yet defensive arachnids, known to be very aggressive with one of the most potent venoms of all tarantulas as their only defense is fight or flight. It is though completely safe to eat the whole spider – the legs are great dipped into soy or sweet chili sauce!

Good hopefully he will choke on one then!

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