The Cover GIRLS of eBay!

They missed the bus to their Victorias Secret interview and  Tyra fired them from Top Model for smoking crack in the bathroom.  They thought their dreams of becoming the next Adriana Lima were over!   However, fate held a job with far more prestige and glamour than any cover of Vogue!  These are The Cover Girls of eBay!

The Planet of the Apes Extra

IS SHE AUDITIONING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF PLANET OF THE APES?

The most sort after extra for the Planet of the Apes series! She works for a paycheck of only two bananas and has a line of fans a mile long with special guest appearances at every POA convention.

The Giant Midget

OK ARE YOU A MIDGET OR A GIANT?

She can model for both petite sized clothing as well as the extra tall.  Now that’s versatility!

The “Guess” Again Girl

Vintage Jean Guess Jacket- I USED TO LOVE GUESS! NOW I MUST GUESS AGAIN! Lose the pants but please don't photograph it.

 Neither Claudia Schiffer nor Anna Nicole Smith could make this outfit work. The wrinkled pants and harsh underwear lines are worn so effortlessly by this eBay Guess superstar!

The Potato Head Girl

Is the symmetry just off - or is that a tiny body supporting one GIANT head!

Remember Mr. Potato Head?  We just found his mail-order bride!

The Blonde Muscle Fountain

The barely hidden protruding penis adds a fresh look to this lovely lady.  We love the sheer fierce no-nonsense pose contrasting beautifully with the tranquil background.  There just Ain’t no fountain high enough ….

The Chipmunk Girl

My squirrel is hungry, can you share some of those nuts you are storing in your cheeks?  Thank you :)

This girl has all the luck, a very nice figure and the ability to store enough nuts in those cheeks to feed every starving squirrel in Africa!

The Retired Coked Out Strippers

Girl’s just wanna have fun…  To be 60, look 70  and dress like your 20.  You’ve got the best of three decades!  Thank you for being too high to untie each other’s bathing suits!

The Young Boy posing as a Teenage Girl for Pedophiles and just got caught by their Mother 

I came home and caught my 12 year old son in a dress!

Oops, mom.  He bought it for me from eBay!

Shy Plain Jane with a Camel Toe

Nice!

Hollywood stars fork out big bucks for fake camel toes and this completely bored look this lucky lady has naturally been blessed with!

The Overweight Meth Smoking Unshowered Trailer Park Lady

Worn Bra - STERILIZE IT FIRST, THEN THOW IT IN THE DUMPSTER in your trailer park.L

“Come in” she grunts to you in a hoarse croak.  The cigarette smoke burns your eyes but spares you temporarily for the eyesore that awaits you.   You are not sure if she is pulling out that bra or stuffing it back in.  You run screaming and crash straight into Leatherface in the motorhome next door.  He just looks at you with sympathy, puts down his chainsaw and drives you back into town.

The Androygenous Abercrombie & Fitch Model who played an Elf in Lord of the Rings

I'm sure he is a very nice guy

You remember his/her name right and the part where he/she is helping the elf king doing something important in order to fend off the dwarves and the trolls because one of the hobbits just lost the ring again and he/she appeared in a beautiful halo of light handing it to Golem…

The Bitchy Asian Alexis Colby

Dynasty is back and has moved to China!!!  Welcome back Joan Collins!

For those of you who ever watched the 80’s nighttime soap Dynasty, you should be familiar with the reference.  Joan Collins eat your heart out and Krystle, there is a new bitch in town after your man!

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Want more check out my Pinterest page…

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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