The Shocking Truth Behind eBay’s Sexiest Women!

It all began when a group of aspiring models from the mid-west had missed the bus to their Victoria’s Secret interview.

Things just got even worse down the road when Tyra fired them from Top Model for smoking crack in the bathroom. 

Hey Girl Me Passing By My Ex GIF - HeyGirl MePassingByMyEx GIFs

With no bus money left and refusing to give up, they trudged for miles across the country only to end up in San Jose, California.

The cruel burning heat of that fateful day in mid summer seemed like the end of the road. However, it was a day they would never forget…

Ten of the determined beauties had already dropped to their death from walking miles in stilettos under the excruciating conditions.

The rude cat calls from men on the streets exposing themselves to these proud beautiful women was nearly more then they could take and far beneath the level of male attention they had become so accustomed.

Then the magic happened. Just when they thought their dreams of becoming the next Adriana Lima were really over, they literally bumped into a small group of eBay talent scouts hurrying back from their lunch break.

Image result for ebay building

It was like a fairy tale come true! Something that only happens in a Jennifer Lopez movie. These resourceful young men from India were about to become responsible for bringing us some of the most recognizable faces on eBay today!

This is true story behind the modeling industry’s most sought after divas …

The Planet of the Apes Extra

IS SHE AUDITIONING FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT OF PLANET OF THE APES?

The most purchased bikini poster on eBay. Seen hanging in every guy’s garage!

The Giant Midget

OK ARE YOU A MIDGET OR A GIANT?

She can model for both petite sized clothing as well as the extra tall.  Now that’s versatility!

The “Guess” Again Girl

Vintage Jean Guess Jacket- I USED TO LOVE GUESS! NOW I MUST GUESS AGAIN! Lose the pants but please don't photograph it.

 Neither Claudia Schiffer nor Anna Nicole Smith could make this outfit work. The wrinkled pants and harsh underwear lines are worn so effortlessly by this eBay Guess superstar!

The Potato Head Girl

Is the symmetry just off - or is that a tiny body supporting one GIANT head!

Remember Mr. Potato Head?  We just found his mail-order bride!

The Blonde Fountain of Muscles

The barely hidden protruding penis adds a fresh look to this lovely lady.  We love the sheer fierce no-nonsense pose contrasting beautifully with the tranquil background.  There just Ain’t no fountain high enough ….

The Chipmunk Girl

My squirrel is hungry, can you share some of those nuts you are storing in your cheeks?  Thank you :)

There are some seriously pissed off squirrels who would like the nuts out of their cheeks back!

The Retired Coked Out Strippers

Girl’s just wanna have fun…  To be 60, look 70  and dress like your 20.  You’ve got the best of three decades!  Thank you for being too high to untie each other’s bathing suits!

Young Boy poses as a Teenage Girl for Pedophiles and just got caught by his Mother 

I came home and caught my 12 year old son in a dress!

Oops, mom.  He bought it for me from eBay!

Plain Jane has a Camel Toe

Nice!

Shhh… she trying to selling fake camel toes, but hers is actually real!

The Overweight Meth Smoking Unshowered Trailer Park Lady

Worn Bra - STERILIZE IT FIRST, THEN THOW IT IN THE DUMPSTER in your trailer park.

“Come in” she grunts to you in a hoarse croak.  The cigarette smoke burns your eyes but spares you temporarily for the eyesore that awaits you.   You are not sure if she is pulling out that bra or stuffing it back in.  You run screaming and crash straight into Leather face in the motor home next door.  He just looks at you with sympathy, puts down his chainsaw and drives you back into town.

The Androygenous Abercrombie & Fitch Model who played an Elf in Lord of the Rings

I'm sure he is a very nice guy

You remember his/her name right and the part where he/she is helping the elf king doing something important in order to fend off the dwarfs and the trolls because one of the hobbits just lost the ring again and he/she appeared in a beautiful halo of light handing it to Golem…

The Bitchy Asian Alexis Colby

Dynasty is back and has moved to China!!!  Welcome back Joan Collins!

For those of you who ever watched the 80’s nighttime soap Dynasty, you should be familiar with the reference.  Joan Collins eat your heart out and Krystle, there is a new bitch in town after your man!

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