Once it was called the Silent Treatment, now it is called Ghosting!
The definition: The practice of ending a personal relationship with someone by suddenly and without explanation withdrawing from all communication.
EVIL may be a harsh word. However, it is not harsh enough if you logically contemplate the true dynamics behind the narcissistic loser who does this to you. This is pain and humiliation they are deliberately causing you. This is not a human being who cares about you and DEFINITELY not one that has any intention of trying to further a relationship with you!
The Silent Treatment game is not a coincidence or something your guy is clueless that he is doing to you. There are a number of reasons: he has met somebody else yet wants to keep you on the back burner for when he is bored, he is too much of a coward to break up with you or you have done something to bug him so he is punishing you with this diabolical behavior in order to put you back in your place! He is letting you know that he will control you again with HIS rules. Were you too needy with him, well you need to learn you are not that important to him!
If you have ever been through any situation remotely close to this – then dump his ass! It is nothing more than cruel and deliberate manipulation! Here is a common example:
Your guy stands you up for a date, you call repeatedly and he never answers the phone. You text him “WTF?” and no reply. After worriedly calling the hospital and jail, you are disappointed to find he is in neither! You can’t ignore the gut feeling that you have been dumped!
In desperation, your mind races for another possibility. He dropped his phone in the ocean again while surfing, He has done that at least four times in the last two months. Wait, Facebook Messenger, he’s never far from his laptop! You log on to find that he was active just over an hour ago. He changed his profile photo and you are no longer in it!
This is too painful to bear. You have been seeing each other for months, everything was perfect. You never had to text him first or make plans to hang out. He couldn’t get enough of you and now he has vanished into thin air!
You feel like you have just been kicked in the stomach. You cry and text continuously for a good four hours. Eventually, you calm down and tell your cat. Your cat looks at you with a bored expression and also decides to give you the Silent Treatment!
Determined to fix this situation you then text:
“Hey, babe. So sorry for all the texts. I thought we had plans tonight and I was completely confused. Were we supposed to have dinner right? I apologize for the freakout. Please call me as soon as you get this message. I love you and miss you!”
One more hour of silence passes. Then the ever faithful desperation demon repossesses you faster than a scene from The Exorcist. This time you are consumed with complete rage and humiliation. Round two of the texts begins. The boxing bell rings, unfortunately, you are the only one fighting the match!
“What kind of selfish uncaring cruel excuse for a human does something like this. You’re are an asshole. Fuck you and whatever bitch you are fucking right now!”
You really should probably put down that wine bottle at this point. Your fingers are furiously typing pages and pages filled with anger, sadness, and a pathetic plea for a response, an acknowledgment that you have even existed in his world. Why have you been ostracized?
You then frantically promise you will do anything you can to make things right. You go from complete panic to a brief moment of serenity, followed by some tears and loud wailing. You accept you have far surpassed flying over the cuckoo’s nest. You have stopped, landed on it and chased all the other birds out! You know you have now destroyed any chance of getting him back.
Still, you don’t stop. What do you have to lose at this point You blow his phone up until it eventually turns off. You leave long sobbing messages apologizing profusely on his voicemail (though you have no idea for what?). You wait a good 20 minutes and then try the “funny memories of the good times” angle. By the end of the night, you want to just die! You are helpless, defeated, and heartbroken. Your world as you know it has completely come to an end, the fear of the unknown is overwhelming and frustrating. Your soul is completely drained of all dignity and happiness,
Eventually, you pass out, the alcohol didn’t exactly help the nuclear explosion of emotions but at least it put you to sleep. You wake up with your head literally throbbing, and you lie there for a few minutes groggy and blank. Then you remember last night. “Noooo…” you mumble. “Please tell me this is nothing but a terrible dream”! You know it isn’t!
The battery from your phone is dead, you scramble around for the charger praying he replied and maybe thought the whole thing was cute or funny. No such luck. You get to look at your incredibly embarrassing texts and burst into tears. “What have I done?”. You decide no more texting if he hears your voice sounding calm it might just make him remember the normal you again. You try to think of the perfect cute sentence to play off the downright creepiness you projected last night.
“I’m so sorry babe. I drank way too much wine last night and I know I made a complete ass of myself. I’m so embarrassed, I swear my cat thinks I’m a nutcase, (awkward laugh). I was just really worried that something had happened to you and I was missing you so badly. I love you so much, please call me and let me know that you are okay at least. I really do love you, bye”.
You put down the phone and feel like a complete loser. That was not cute or funny, sounded more like an addict begging for their last hit!
Now you have lost your will to do anything. You decide to call in sick to work, go back to bed and cry yourself back to sleep. You don’t wake up until early evening. Of course, you immediately go for your phone, your heart racing. You just feel that he called. But there is nothing no response from him at all. For the next couple of weeks, you try to tone it down. Leaving a message every other day, just casually saying “Hey there, just wanted to say hi and see how your week was going?”. Never a response!
You can feel actual physical pain in your chest, you have no appetite, your concentration at work is non-existent and your anxiety just over the roof. You can’t accept in your head that this is real and keep thinking what happened? What did I do wrong? I was the one playing hard to get and making him work for me. He said he loved me, I am such a loser here!
This situation is extreme, however not uncommon. When somebody we love ghosts us we are thrown into complete confusion and terrible pain. We can’t understand why they did that to us and drive ourselves crazy wondering what we did wrong?
The girl, in this case, does sound like a stalking nut job. However, one moment she was happily in love and feeling secure in what she thought was a great relationship and the next moment that was all snatched away without warning or explanation. She started to blame herself for “overreacting” to the cruel and cowardly behavior of somebody she had no reason to believe would ever do that to her!
If you have ever been in a similar situation, first of all, DON’T BEAT YOURSELF UP! Remember, he was the one who was rude and what he did to you was very painful! Clearly, he is one selfish, spineless cowardly excuse for a human. For somebody to suddenly cut off all contact with another person being they claimed to love as if they were nothing but a Craiglist one night stand… And then guilt-free continue on with their merry life, feeling triumphant that they had that much power over your emotions is not somebody worth losing any sleep over!
It’s 2019, by now we are all pretty much chained to our cell phones. Please do not give this loser the satisfaction of continuing to text him over and over again, trying in vain to get the answer you so desperately want to hear. You won’t get it! You don’t need his last thoughts of you to be of a whimpering pathetic desperate nutcase!
I always love it when men have the nerve to call us crazy after they have obviously lied or disappeared and then attempt to twist the truth and put the blame on us! One big finger up to these jerks. They need to be put in the straightjacket!
HE DID IT TO YOU, HE WILL DO IT TO THE NEXT GIRL. PITY HER, BE RELIEVED YOU HAVE ESCAPED!