A Woman’s Guide to Men : They are Simple and Boring!

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Meet Mr. Right
Keep Mr. Right
Stay away from Mr. Tight (with his wallet)!
Hang up on Mr. Midnight (I CANNOT EMPHASIZE THIS ONE MORE!)

A guideline for dating that sounds so easy … it would lessen the heartache but those pesky emotions and feelings cause us to doubt what is plain logic.  Nothing is black or white, there is always shades of grey.

So how do we understand which men are harmful to us before we have already decided we can mold him into our future husband.  Why do we never notice Mr. Right has been there the whole time!

Well for some reason, the universe has always produced a frustrating battle between the sexes. However, there are ways to make this war as pleasant as possible.  Life is TOO SHORT to waste the time that we do on hurt feelings, jealousy, and broken hearts.  If you are feeling that way, chances are he is Mr. Wrong!

You can choose between waking up in loving arms with a smile on your face or going to bed crying and alone!  We need to make smart decisions with the men we pick, the way we treat them and the way we let them treat us.  It is common knowledge in life that you teach others how to treat you!

Just Break Up?

Now somewhere in the land of Narnia, people exist in perfect relationships forever that never leave the Honeymoon period.  This is BS invented by Hollywood,  and we all know the plot.

The hot guy starts off being nice, some unknown event (usually another woman) causes him to transform into an ass.  During the last ten minutes of the movie he, of course, realizes he has found true love and chases her on the runway behind a plane launching of asphalt and screaming like a maniac “I love you”!  After the pilot brings the flight to a screeching halt, all the passengers break into applause (as if they know all the events that previously transpired) as Mr. Wonderful climbs aboard finding his love, the only passenger who has not even noticed any of the commotion.   Urrgh just had a nauseating vision of Meg Ryan with that pixie haircut and cheesy smile. Goodbye, 90’s!

Now let’s look at the sequel that Hollywood won’t make,  Meg gets older, her cuteness fades and she desperately tries to hold on to it with the blotched plastic surgery job of our nightmares. Now the relationship mirrors that of Al and Peg Bundy.  She can’t even get her man to chase her down half a block towards the park when she catches him cheating this time.  Remember once they get us, they have us!   The thrill of the chase is going to inevitably die.

CAUTION!!!  Staleness and Monotony  Lie Ahead!

 

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Thus the heart-pounding romance novel with Fabio spreading his goods all over the cover has come to an end.  The epilogue is not pretty. Now he farts loudly after sex, bitches over a few dishes and throws his tangled jeans on the floor that accentuate his overlapping beer belly.  She screams in disgust as her barefoot makes contact with the heavily skid-marked tidy whities that didn’t quite make the careless toss towards the washer.  Gross, she thought remembering back to the days when he didn’t even own a pair of jeans!

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 Nothing kills a relationship if you don’t have a connection.  No connection = No Relationship!

So reality does bite. Men can be jerks, but the worthy ones will work hard to win you! We forget they have to put a lot more effort into getting us with expensive dinners, phone calls, figuring out how to please us and feigning an interest in what we like to connect with us etc…  And we can be guilty of prancing around like princesses at that point we have them under a spell. Eventually, if we don’t let our pride down, and stop so rigidly following “The Rules” we will end up sitting at home crying, texting and desperately wanting attention back.  Now I’m not saying at all, to be a doormat but however, there has to be a balance between give and take.

So how do we do that?  Start with showing him some appreciation for even the littlest thing he does, down to cleaning the bathtub without being asked.  And watch he will start doing it more and more for you!  He does actually want you happy!

Men really do love recognition for what they do for you. It is the key to making t to make them feel needed and loved.

We never seem to get this one!  If somebody is upset, doesn’t it make sense to talk about it and solve the issue?

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Work with them as far as communication.  Men NEED their time alone to think. They can’t always handle our overflow of emotions and it will make them angry!  They are truly frustrated that they have failed us somehow. So let them cool down or they will flee like the devil is after them.  Vent to a friend and STOP TEXTING HIM!  Which I see every woman do, including myself.  At this time, you probably don’t think that they are thinking about us, but they really are!

We want to talk about problems, men want to solve them!

When he is ready to talk, he will do so, but he needs to do so with positive feelings. Otherwise, he will shut down and wall up!

Men are brought uр tо keep thеіr еmоtіоnѕ within thеіr hеаrt.  This very simple, let him show you he loves you!  Stop obsessing over that one night last Wednesday when he inadvertently said something insensitive without thinking.  Let it go and accept that conflict is inevitable!

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We can find still find ways to avoid unnecessary fighting.  For example, inѕtеаd of nаggіng оvеr hоuѕеhоld issues, mаkе a tо dо lіѕt tо rеmіnd him of general tasks. He is not always being lazy, hіѕ mind is most likely preoccupied with something other than unloading the dishwasher.

And to play devil’s advocate on what I just said,  I do hate to say it but sometimes we do need a little drama/pressure to keep things interesting. Otherwise, how boring would it all be?  Let’s go back to the Sandra Bullock/Julia Roberts plots of the dreaded nineties.  Imagine a romance movie with no scenes to piss you off and make you feel relieved that at least your guy didn’t do that.  Nobody wants to spend 90 minutes watching a couple dancing through daisy fields, having picnics and with no sexy temptress to test the man’s love and devotion.  That would soon put us all in a coma, it is the journey of learning to stay in love despite obstacles and distractions that really makes the love feel worthwhile.

But nevertheless, we never have to worry about that as relationships aren’t always going to be pretty. We all have those awesome “romantic nights” that wake us up with that smile on our face.  Our hair and makeup were perfect.  He actually noticed and he woke up happy that you….  need I say more!  But there are going to be those “hot sweaty, are you seriously dripping on my hair, hurry up and finish and which one of us made that weird noise during… type nights”  Always, awkward, but usually quickly forgotten.

“Nagging leads to conflict.  Conflict leads to Anger.  Anger leads to be being single with too many cats!”

So, in reality, we all really hate it when we catch him looking at other women!  How do we cope?

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JUST ACCEPT WHAT IS NEVER GOING TO CHANGE!  Remember he is with you and as hard as is it may be on your ego, you have to let it go unless it is blatantly obvious and rude.  Then feel free to scratch his eyes out!

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First of all talk to him about it and then try and this simple exercise to calm down your fury. Check out the elderly couples strolling around the park holding hands. Yоu’ll see that еvеn those men mаrrіеd for 60 уеаrѕ are still lооking. In fact, hе’ѕ probably lооkіng at уоu!   Creepy, let’s hope your man is also not looking at his 80-year-old wife!  Relationships are hard and don’t ever stay in one where you feel consistently miserable and demeaned.  However, if you are lucky enough to find a man that is good to you, and he may not be perfect – trust me it is worth the fight and the willingness to make some compromises to keep him.  A good man is few and far between these days!

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