Love, dating, and marriage.  Glamorized in the movies, but stressful, heartbreaking and often plain boring in real life!   So where do we find a happy balance between reality and fantasy?  When it gets to the point that Jason Voorhees starts looking like an ideal love interest, then perhaps we need to rethink out strategies!


Emotions can be pleasurable but are they worth the pain?   Have you ever been torn between two men?  The super hot “bad boy” who is without a doubt just plain wrong for us.  Who still doesn’t get a rush from his text even though we know he is a piece of s**t!

Then there is the sweet guy who is always there for you.  But, he is so boring and there is no chemistry.   You dread the idea of being trapped with Mr. Reliable while still lusting after somebody who you desperately wish would change.  And what if he does? Could you truly get over the turmoil of pain, confusion, and loneliness he caused you? 

Just Break Up?

Okay, well if you think Mr. Wrong will ever really change,  then you need to turn off the Katherine Heigl movies (they kicked her out of Hollywood for a reason!) and wake up.  Recognize this basic plot!

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The hot but “bad” guy will start off being nice, then some unknown event (usually another woman) causes him to transform into an ass.  During the last ten minutes of the movie he realizes he has found true love and chases her on a plane on the runway  (seems kind of dangerous!)  She is sick and tired of being sick and tired of his BS.  He is screaming like a maniac “I love you” while somehow managing to jump up to the height of the windows of the rapidly moving aircraft.

The pilot (ignoring the safety of 300 passengers) brings the flight to a screeching halt. Mr ‘Suddenly Realized He’s in Love’,  boards the plane and anxiously looks for our protagonist.  She, of course, is the only passenger who has not even noticed any of the commotions. 

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Here we see the typical forever bewildered Meg Ryan character sporting a pixie haircut and absorbed in a magazine.  Her face clearly showing the ever so cute perpetual state of confusion. 

She bursts into tears of happiness, who cares that he banged her best friend – he got on a plane!  Every passenger breaks into applause.  They apparently know all the events that had previously transpired between the two lovers and are not the least bit irritated that their flight was interrupted…

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Now let’s look at the sequel that Hollywood won’t make,  Meg gets older, her cuteness fades and she desperately tries to hold on to it with the blotched plastic surgery job of our nightmares.

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The relationship now mirrors that of Al and Peg Bundy.  She can’t even get her man to chase her down half a block towards the park when she catches him cheating this time.

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The heart-pounding romance novel with Fabio spreading his goods all over the cover has come to an end.  The epilogue is not pretty. Now he farts loudly after sex, bitches over a few dishes and throws his tangled jeans on the floor that serve only to accentuate the overlap of his beer belly

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The “Meg Ryan” screams in disgust as her barefoot makes raw contact with the heavily skid-marked tidy whities that didn’t quite make the careless toss towards the washer.  She wonders whatever happened to those lustful days when he didn’t even bother with a pair of jeans!

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The moral of the story, if you let it reality will bite! Men can be jerks, but the worthy ones will work hard to win you!  They will forgive a few wrinkles because if the chemistry and the love are there they will never really be able to recreate that bond they have had with you!   

Relationships aren’t always going to be pretty. We all have those awesome “romantic nights” that wake us up with that smile on our face.  Our hair and makeup were perfect.  He actually noticed and he woke up happy that you….  need I say more!  But there are going to be those “hot sweaty, are you seriously dripping on my hair, hurry up and finish and which one of us made that weird noise during… type nights”  Always, awkward, but usually quickly forgotten.

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Relationships are hard and don’t ever stay in one where you feel consistently miserable and demeaned.  However, if you are lucky enough to find a man (or woman) that is good to you, and may not be perfect – trust me it is worth the fight and the willingness to learn to compromise!

We all want that perfect Hollywood romance, but if we can learn to work with the realities not shown on a movie screen, then we may just have a small chance of creating our own!








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