First of all, never be DESPERATE! Secondly, do not give up on the good guys! It’s crazy how we often ignore them and won’t give chance. They can seem boring, where is that rush? He might actually give you one, as you get used to being treating decently and not abused Sometimes they are not as good looking as the Nightmare Men/Bad Boys.
Have you ever noticed how much better-looking people get when you see how good they are on the inside! Consider branching out a little.
Mr “Not that Bad” can quickly turn into “Mr. I Have to Have”!
There really are some excellent dating sites out there filled with quality men not looking to make you a booty call! The men who pay for those sites, are the ones you want. Match and eHarmony are great! Guys on free sites – RED FLAG number one. Cheap and looking to get something for nothing!
Do make sure you have a healthy level of self-esteem before you consider entering a relationship. Dating and having fun can bring that back if some jerk has destroyed it. I have mentioned before that men have a weird sixth sense. The nice ones also will stay clear if you are putting out a negative aura about yourself. Personally, I don’t care how hot a guy is if he thinks he is a loser, why am I going to think he has anything to offer me!
If you have been with a Nightmare Man, grieve, get it out of your system and remember he is out there preparing to torture a new victim. Feel pity for her, not envy. Even if you bump into the two of them looking all lovey-dovey, it is not going to last! Poor girl has the same pain ahead of her, that you are starting to recover from. One day this fool will simply evaporate from your mind and your heart!
Make sure you HAVE A LIFE! I cannot emphasize this enough. It just looks a little weird when you don’t!
Emotional Baggage + Shredded Self Esteem+ Continuing to be a Victim = Scaring off Mr Right!
When you are ready for a serious date, here is an idea. Post a RED FLAG list on your bathroom mirror for signs to look out for as you get ready for your date. TAKE IT DOWN BEFORE YOU LEAVE! You may in your excitement forget that it’s up there and how awkward if he sees it!
Here a few to get you started:
- Has to keep excusing himself to call his “mom” (it’s not his mother!)
- Keeps talking about his ex
- Makes you pay half the bill (tell him you are on the way the kitchen to help do dishes and leave through the back door – cheap jerk!)
- Belittles others
- Tells you for an hour what he does for a living but you still have no idea
- His idea of a first date is coming to your house…
- Uses foul language, goes number 2 in your bathroom, horrible manners
- Tries to have sex on the first date
- Doesn’t ask you any questions about yourself
- Your cat hates him
- Looks at other women when you are out
- Lives at home
I suggest remembering strange things you have noticed about jerks you have dated in the past and adding your own. The main thing is to trust your gut instinct!
If none of the above takes place, try to think positive about your date. Positive energy brings positive results! Lose the image of the emotionally beaten worn down woman that used to look back sadly at you in the mirror. Why, because some worthless creep has made you feel less than you are! He was just looking at himself the whole time!
Love what you see in the mirror! You have been taking care of your health, your looks, your soul and this gorgeous glowing woman smiling back at you are ready for whoever is behind the door. She would like to have a great date, but if it goes sour, who cares. She can get another one! She most importantly will have an already fulfilled life that does not require a man.
Remember this about a man:
HE IS AN ACCESSORY NOT A NECESSITY!
Imagine a guy who is not emotionally or physically abusive towards you. He has no ulterior motives except to love and care about you, make you his partner and his eyes aren’t doing a 360 around his head at other women when you are out in public. He is thoughtful, generous and wants to make you happy. He wants to see your life become easier because let’s face it, life is hard enough!
That guy really is out there. And you will find him to be so much hotter than Nightmare Man and most important of all he will MAKE YOU HAPPY!
Please block Nightmare Man’s phone number. There is a good chance that when he sees you happy again he will try to ruin it. He has nothing going on for him, he is an empty soulless excuse for a human being who will end up a lonely old man. NOT YOUR PROBLEM!
You have made too much progress to end up looking like this again!