Do’s and Don’ts in Dating!

So you have picked out your future husband, but fear you will lose him fast as bad habits quickly resurface.

 

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Print and laminate at least five copies of these essentials.  You will need one for the back of the toilet tank, your computer screen, your car window, your purse and the door of the microwave.

THE DO’S 

  • Let him text first.  Come now control freak stalker.  If he likes you he will text!
  • Offer to pitch in for something on a first date – even just the tip!  Hopefully, he will decline, but it looks good on your end to at least offer.
  • Save some of the cat talks for a later time. Know the right time to stop, probably when he desperately tries to change the topic.
  • Hide your disdain for both his wet smelly dogs and mention of his exes.
  • Look very carefully for  RED FLAGS and run like the wind when you see one.
  • Quiet on the stories of how badly other men have treated you  (Unless you want him to do the same).
  • Show him your gratitude and appreciation for when he does something nice for you.
  • Consider doing a background check before the first date. Especially those you have met online.  The internet can be a playground for some truly sick and dangerous predators.
  • Do remember that users and abusers WASTE YOUR TIME!  Precious time you could be enjoying with Mr. Right, not some sleazeball who just wants you to come over to his house and never takes you out.
  • Do go out on many dates and HAVE FUN!  The older we get, our brains will convince us that our choices have lessened.  Not true, we actually have a larger selection of quality men to spend our time with.  Forget the days of when we had our pick of a large quantity of pimply faced shallow “studs” just trying to get laid!  Times in the past aren’t always as fun as we choose to remember!
  • Do Stay silent on a bad financial situation till you are well established.  He isn’t looking for a financial burden and doesn’t need to know your electricity check bounced.

THE DON’TS

  • Don’t ever go through his cell phone unless you want hurt feelings, misunderstandings and a lost chance with a very possible Mr. Right!
  • Don’t drunk Text Ever!  They now have cell phone apps for this! Check out very http://www.stopdrunktexting.com.
  •  Don’t make videos of yourself stalking him and then send them to him.  That’s just weird and women generally being so emotion based tend to get caught in the moment and forget that men don’t think like us.

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  • Never leave him UNATTENDED WITH FEMALE FRIENDS!  It’s doesn’t always turn out to be “ho’s before bros”!  Women are competitive by nature, men are dogs by nature.  Don’t try to test him or unnecessarily tempt fate!.
  • Don’t have SEX ON THE FIRST DATE.  He may enjoy it, but in the back of his mind, you have just done every one of his friends!
  • Squash the urges to reply to his texts without at least waiting 30 minutes.  You have a life, remember!
  • Stop telling him every silly thought that passes through your head during the day! This will just irritate him and kill any mystery.
  • No feeding him after midnight!  In fact, he shouldn’t even be walking through your door after midnight, Miss Booty Call!
  • No obsessive googling!   Do you really think you will feel better if you read every comment and examine every female friend on his Social Media!  Guaranteed you will see something you don’t like and it will create negative feelings.   Save that for when you are committed and it is more appropriate!
  • Don’t be jealous that he has a past,  remember he also has a present.  You are not his wife nor will you ever be if you start interrogating him on  “who is this girl”,  etc…  Jealousy is not attractive!

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  • Don’t allow him to treat you in any way, you are not allowed to treat him!
  • Stop messing with your phone around him, it’s just rude and we don’t like it done to us.
  • Do remember to erase those unflattering pictures of yourself on Facebook and Instagram. Don’t join the thousands of cheap tramps trolling all over the social media desperate for any kind of attention.  Keep with the classy “oops didn’t mean to like a supermodel in this shot” only! And don’t photoshop yourself to death either.  You are screaming insecurity and he knows you don’t look like an exhibit from the Hollywood Wax Museum.
  • Don’t let him overstep any boundaries that are important to you.
  • Don’t let him know you are sitting at home on Friday night watching  Pretty in Pink! He is probably sitting at home himself watching “Kickboxer”.
  • Never admit that you have any kind of normal and unflattering bodily functions.  If a weird smell occurs, Lie, lie, lie!  Tell him you think his dog needs to go for walk!
  • Don’t swear like a sailor!  Sounds tacky and cheap.
  • If you dress like a hooker who found her outfit flinging clothes off the 75% discount rack at Target, then expect to be treated like one!  If you can only afford half an outfit, then perhaps wait until you can save up for the rest of it before proceeding with a date!

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  • Lose that black liquid eyeliner, Donatella Versace!  Are you are trying to look like an extra from  Night of the Living Dead or add ten years to your age while highlighting your crows feet!

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  • Never let that first date be without plans and at your house!  We all know that guy!  Hate that guy!

Dating should be fun at any age.  Not some kind of entrapment into a dysfunctional lair of the lying sociopathic creep.  Just don’t invest your heart too quickly!  Make sure he is worth it!

 

 

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