As I am sitting there in major gloom, a random knock came at the door. One of his best friends, Josh, the nephew of the man who owned the house was concerned that I possibly had died as nobody had seen me in days. I was both embarrassed and relieved. He helped me out and loaned me some money so I could get some food. Pizza had never tasted so good!
Then I got a call from an old friend who offered to let me stay in his house with an extra room until I got back on my feet. Ryan was still sending me taunting text messages telling me that if I had not done this or said that, we would still be together! He truly enjoyed cruelty. Though I was grateful to be in a better place, the depression, loneliness and hurt from being abandoned were overwhelming.
Ryan came by a handful of times to visit me. However, only for the purpose to either trick me into giving him some money or stealing from this man’s house without my knowledge. The house owner was somewhat of a hoarder so there was so much stuff everywhere it was the sociopath’s dream! After, I had moved he called me to ask me where some of his stuff was. I was mortified. It took me forever to repay this poor man who tried to help me out. Ryan waltzed along either denying it or admitting it with the smug grin of Satan on his face! He then got me pregnant and of course used the old “you’re a whore, it’s not mine” line.
Still not knowing what a sociopath was and thinking people can always come around and change, I felt happiness. I had no other friends left so he was all I thought I had at that grim time. I was thinking his parents would be excited, and he would come around.
Not quite. He refused to even take me to the doctor or to get food as I was always hungry. I eventually realized it wasn’t going to happen and foresaw myself out on the street homeless with cats and a baby. He came by to visit me on a couple of days before the procedure, promising to give me a ride to the clinic.
I had saved up money to get it done. Somehow he found it and stole it that day. I didn’t even realize until the morning that I was getting ready to go and waiting for him. After discovering the loss, I flew into a rage, how could anybody even be this evil! I repeatedly called his house, his mom said she couldn’t wake him up because he was sleeping and didn’t want to disturb him.
HATE should be the emotion I feel at this point. But, it was still self-blame and confusion! Who is this feeble idiot that had replaced who I was and kept going back for more! I had no idea what having an abortion would be like and I wish, I wish, I wish I had not done it. I went through the whole thing alone, I was laying in my bed bleeding huge amounts of blood and called nobody, not even a doctor! The guilt I felt and still do was tremendous!
IT IS SO IMPORTANT NEVER TO PLACE YOUR HAPPINESS IN THE HANDS OF OTHERS!!!
I stopped contacting Ryan. Then he started somewhat psychologically terrorizing me. Texting saying he was outside my window and could see what I was watching on TV. And he was, he heard me watching Joel Olsteen and clapping at something he said that made me happy! Sneaking in at night of the new house I was staying at when I was dead asleep and again stealing. Telling me his friend had hacked into my laptop and anything private I had emailed or written he had copies of. Trying to break into my voicemail, my anxiety level was through the roof. Half of the things he was telling me he was doing, he wasn’t even doing. It was all to freak me out for his own personal pleasure.
After numerous other forms of torture, theft, and anguish caused by this demon. I finally got angry. So angry that the depths of hell poured out of my soul. Screaming, crying and threatening did not work. So I took action. He was already on probation for drug charges and it was common knowledge that he was spending a lot of time at this older lady’s house named Eileen stealing copper tubing, from the garage area.
I told him I had alerted the property management and the police of what he was doing, so go ahead keep it up! He laughed in my face. He got arrested on his last month of probation and spent three months in jail, with five more years of probation. I finally felt free and back in control of my life!