Does anything suck more than a broken heart and crushed dreams for a future relationship with the guy that was so into you and all of a sudden you are about as worthy to him as chopped liver?
Ouch! Ditched for the prom because he is embarrassed by what his friends think? Quite the conundrum! Both Andrew McCarthy and James Spader are in love with you, but neither one of them want to be caught dead with you in your Salvation Army reject clothing.
What do we do when our heart is completely obliterated by some guy?
a) Shoplift from Neiman Marcus to get that outfit to win him back!
b) Internally shut him out and move on to somebody new?
C) Wait by the phone in tears hoping he will call or blow his phone up with texts in desperate hope for a response.
d) Just give into James Spader, because he is so hard on the eyes !
e) Learn some solid and logical advice before you destroy all your chances of getting him back that will actually work!
d) is the correct answer. Well not really, but I wish I had attended that high school. Talk about super hot guys!
Anyway, first of all:
- STOP THE PSYCHOTIC TEXTING!
- READ THE EXCELLENT ADVICE TO FOLLOW!
Mend a Broken Heart the Easy Way!
By Jenna James
Mending a broken heart in the beginning seems impossible! After all, you’re dealing with sadness, anger, and desperation that are changing how you live. Everything you’ve known and become accustomed to has turned on its head, AND the one person that you would normally turn to in a moment of crisis is the very person who is causing this pain. So how can you possibly mend your broken heart – yet alone in an easy way?
You must abandon the mindset that triggers and perpetuates your painful emotions. Relinquish the “couple” mentality. By this, I mean you need to stop thinking as though you are part of a couple and instead see yourself as independent with your own life to worry about.
Think about it… here are some common thoughts that might trigger a familiar sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach:
- Who will I spend my Friday night with?
- I have to go alone to Thanksgiving dinner.
- He/she was always the one I called right after I got out of work.
- My bedside is empty.
- Why should I cook dinner if I’m the only one eating it?
The above examples show your thinking in the relationship. Since you’re relationship has ended, having these thoughts remind you of what you don’t possess and rub salt into your broken heart.
In order to heal, you must start thinking like a single person. You’re not missing your “other half.” You’re completely on your own, and you’d like to date your ex again, but you’re not vulnerable because he or she no longer wants to be with you. If you can stop looking at yourself as part of a unit, you’ll put yourself in a position to nurse your broken heart back to health. Otherwise, you’re not allowing yourself to break the cycle in which every memory or routine stings an open wound.
This all sounds great theoretically, but how do you go about doing this? There are many secrets discussed in Bait Him Back, but I’ve included some quick examples below.
It’s vital you cease contact for a substantial amount of time. Nothing perpetuates that “couple’s mentality” more than seeing your ex immediately after your break up. Focus on yourself and your own interests, and that is nearly impossible if you’re hung up on what your ex is doing. Click Here!
For some people, you’ll be surprised at what casual dating can do. Distraction is key. If you sit around in your pajamas all day reminiscing about the good times, you’re impeding your growth. When you eventually make contact, you’ll have nothing to new or exciting to say about yourself.
If your ex asks what you’ve been up to, you can’t say, “I’ve just been missing you.” That’s a total turn off. It’s much more attractive for you to evolve in spite of this setback rather than becoming victim to it. Show him you that you have grown and something about you is different, intriguing. – and your ex will most likely regret their initial decision to break up with you. This is secret to having your ex want to be with you again.
Your heart can be mended and there are specific, easy, proven techniques to do just that. It’s when your mind gets in the way that your heart stays broken.
Claim the free 7-day email series that helps you mend a broken heart and get your ex back by clicking here.
You can also get a proven system to win your ex back. Again, the secret is to get them wanting you back. Learn more by getting one of these courses I highly recommend: Bait Him Back.
Are You Making These Top 10 Break Up Mistakes?
By Jenna James
The ten mistakes below are extremely common, and will almost completely kill your chances of getting your ex back. Undoubtedly you’ve either seen friends make these mistakes or maybe YOU made them in the past.Click Here!
If you manage to avoid the mistakes, you’re chances of mending your broken relationship are pretty damn good.
1. Panic Contact – This is what happens when you let your distress and shock get the best of you. You don’t know what to do. All you want is to change things back to how they were, rewind time, and fix the problem immediately. So you do the only thing you can think of is try to contact your ex hoping you can reason him back into dating you. And the more you panic, the more you end up instigating damaging contact.
2. Laying on the Guilt – When begging fails, your next tactic maybe to guilt your ex into staying with you – a bad idea.
Once you start saying things like, “If you really loved me, you wouldn’t do this,” “I’ve given you so much and this is how you repay me,” and “I knew this would happen, you never were good at relationships,” you’re sending yourself down a dangerous path. This a form of manipulation that will send your ex in the opposite direction you want them to go.
3. Settling for Friendship – You’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Your ex most likely loves you as a person, so when you agree to be “just friends,” it’s an excellent solution for him. He or she gets to keep you in his life without dating you. Unfortunately, by demoting yourself to the role of friend, most likely you will end up getting hurt. Instead, you need to set boundaries. Seek out the support of other friends.
Don’t trick yourself into believing that remaining friends is the only way you can keep your ex in your life. You have to let go completely, especially if you want the chance of getting back together in the future. Remember, if you stay friends, you’ll have to be a “good friend” and support your ex when he or she starts dating someone else. Sound painful?
4. Sleeping with Your Ex – So you shouldn’t revise your relationship to not include sex (being friends), but you also shouldn’t reduce your relationship to just sex. Sleeping with your ex is “fun” for you ex, and a big “I hope” for you. But that hope is unlikely to ever pan out.
5. Resorting to Drugs or Alcohol – It may seem like there is no other alternative, but drowning your sorrows in this manner makes you unappealing to your ex and dangerous to yourself. And when you finally come out of it, you’ll feel bad.
6. Spiraling into Obsession – It’s understandable, you’re hurt. So giving voice to your woes and discussing your ex is okay… to a point. If you’re talking about your ex constantly to anyone who will listen, you’re apt to drive away friends and family members in addition to driving away your ex. It isn’t healthy to obsess. Give your mourning the time it deserves then think happier thoughts.
7. Harassing Your Ex’s Friends – You shouldn’t be in contact with your ex at all in the early stages of your break up. That INCLUDES being in contact with his friends. Sometimes this might suck, but for your sake, it’s the best thing to do.
8. Spying, Stalking, and Anything Creepy – Let the characters in movies do all the spying. You need to focus on yourself and not on what your ex is doing. There is nothing you can do about it. You’re only going to rile yourself up.
9. Gifting Your Ex – You can’t buy your ex back with cute, thoughtful, or expensive gifts. Even if you could, he or wouldn’t be interested in you… just in what you could give.
10. Badmouthing Your Ex – No matter how much you want to drag your ex’s name through the mud for hurting you, 99% of the time it will come back to haunt you. Be an adult about your break up, and save your angry comments for behind closed doors.
These are the things NOT to do. But then what are the things you should be doing?
I reveal dozens of surprisingly simple secrets
in my courses Bait Him Back. By using just one tip, you’ll increase your chances at getting back together if your situation seems hopeless.
Also, get your free 7-day email training course to win your ex back by clicking here. After you register for free, you’ll get some tips revealed only in my course and be able to get your copy.